also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
Randomize