Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
Randomize
