there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
what is it with giant penises always finding me
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
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