i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
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