and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
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