i need an iv and a liver transplant
Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
Randomize
