i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
We left an ass print on the piano.
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
Randomize
