Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Randomize
