He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
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