I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
Randomize
