You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
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