I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
My apartment stinks of burning failure
Randomize