I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize
