low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
Randomize
