Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
It's official drugs can't kill me
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
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