Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
You passed out across the stairs with your feet and arms through the railings so you "wouldn't fall down when you blacked out and no one could get the pizza past you without waking you up". \n\nYou're the smartest drunk I know.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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