Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
I think your dad took our porno
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
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