ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
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