Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
everyone is single if you try hard enough
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
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