hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
Randomize
