Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
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