he wants to bone in the snuggie
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
Randomize
