Christians are straight up FREAKS
am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
Randomize
