im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
Randomize
