When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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