Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
smell my finger.
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
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