Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
how do flat chested girls get laid?
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
Randomize