would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
Randomize
