Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
Side note: I apologize for sex being the subject of every single one of my texts. That's what happens when you date an older man who constantly denies you sex on the basis of his ridiculous morals.
Randomize
