I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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