I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
Randomize
