That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
Randomize
