dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
My ass is underappreciated
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
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