U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
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