Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
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