I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
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