Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
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