butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
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