i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
Randomize
