I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
Randomize
