shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
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