The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
Randomize