so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
I'm determined to sit on that face.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Randomize
