A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
Randomize
