dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
"Functional." Your standards for how you feel after drinking are so high.
When your night starts by chugging margarita and drinking vodka out of tupperware, I feel it's best to stay realistic.
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Randomize
