there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
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