Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
Help me help you realize you are a moron
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
Randomize
