I'm gonna have a badass scar
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
It's blow job season.
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
