apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
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