he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Randomize
