he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
Randomize
