Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
Randomize
