I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
Randomize
