I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
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