Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
I'm experimenting with sincerity
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Randomize
