Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
Randomize
