he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Randomize
