White coat. Heels.
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
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