please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
Also—I just realized that your wedding gift is still on my dining room table. So...as awful as I am for not yet sending it (and I still need your address), at least I didn’t bring my screaming children to potentially the most important day of your life?
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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