Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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