nut hugger
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
Randomize
