Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
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