Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
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