what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
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