$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
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