Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
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