Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
Randomize
